12/16/2006

Special Report: Who exactly sees you when you're sleeping?

Here to tell you about a little-known, but extremely fucked up, Christmas tradition is special guest blogger NICK:

"As a small boy, growing up in the Ukraine, I feared
two things: radioactivity leaks from Chernobyl and
Krampus. Krampus is the devilish counterpart to St.
Nicholas. He is often depicted stealing footstools,
raiding chicken coops and stuffing pierogies with
drain cleaner.

As I grew, I became more afraid of Krampus. While I
was asleep in bed, he would steal the socks off my
feet and crawl away and hide in my bathtub.

Later, I learned that Uncle Boris wasn’t allowed to
live near schools anymore.

While Krampus may seem scary to some, he’s the perfect
addition to the holiday season. So instead of jingle
bells and candy canes at your next Christmas party,
wear cloven feet and goat pelts. You’re sure to be a
hit!"

1 comment:

Cosmic Connie said...

Thank you, RockitQueen. Krampus is a breath of fresh air. I've about had it up to here with The Most Wonderful Time of the Year and all that. Between Krampus and Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo, I just might survive another Holy Season with most of my soul intact.