Injected with a poison: Petey sins again

The 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not shoot up groupies passed out on your filthy kitchen floor. And if you are Pete Doherty, thou shalt not allow cameras or picture phones within a mile of your premises or person.

Also, thou shalt not claim that you were not smacking the bitch up, but actually put the needle in her arm to draw blood out for a lovely painting you're planning. According to the Sun newspaper, "A source said, 'First he said he was joking around and was planning to spurt blood around to create a mess for the picture. Then he made out that he was taking a syringe of blood to keep for future use. He likes to make paintings with his own blood and he was going to use Laura’s for one of these blood paintings.'”

That Pete—he's always up to something! In other junkie news, the Sun is also reporting that spindle-shanked mannequin and Doherty fuck buddy Kate Moss is trying to kick a 50-ciggie-a-day habit. Ouch. That's tough. May I suggest switching over to meth? It's cheaper and also helps clean those unsightly nicotine stains right off your teeth. Since she and Petey are still allegedly secretly dating, they can get matching teeth for the upcoming wedding. That would be too cute!

I bet you're wondering what Britney would say about all this. When reached for comment, she noted, "The baby fell down off the kitchen counter and went boom, didn't you, peanut? Hey, y'all, this Cheeto is shaped kinda like Kevin's thingie!"

1 comment:

Lola said...

Um, how skanky is THIS? And the worst part..Doherty isn't even HOT. I mean, if it was Ville, I'd have some empathy, bt this gork is a dorg. No wonder he and Kate Moss got along so well.