Do not taunt Happy Fun Pete

Seriously, don't. He shoots blood!

So the story goes that happy-go-lucky heroin whore Pete Doherty showed up at an MTV interview with his Babyshambles bandmates. Hey, you know, he's probably the star of the band, what with his success with the Libertines and, oh, yeah, the fact that he's a total tabloid paraiah, fucks Kate Moss and makes no secret of his rampant drug use. Why, only a mere two weeks ago he was captured on camera phone exsanguinating a nubile teen skank passed out on his kitchen floor. His excuse? It's for his "art." You see, blood paintings are Petey's passion. It's a great hobby to pursue while you're smackin'. All you have to do is draw some blood out with that syringe and shoot it on a canvas. Voila! It's art, man.

Well, this time, Pete waltzes into the interview (late of course), takes a seat, produces a blood-filled syringe and proceeds to shower the reporter and cameraman with his bodily fluids. Wait—now that I think about it, who knows if it's even his? It could be anyone's—Kate's, Sienna Miller's, some random dude he met on the way over. And who knows what that shit is tainted with? Crabs, bubonic plague, dropsy...anything! Just look at the expression of abject glee on his face—he knows something we don't. Let's hope the interviewer got his shots.

My god, he's soooo fucked up. I think I am becoming fucked up by proxy. Gah. There's only one thing that can help me now. Oh, and so can this.


Lola said...

Dude...you and your Kenny...I thought it was going to be Ville! Doherty is one sick puppy. They would have arrested him here in the states. He's awesome. What's your take on his Date of Death? Shall we start the pool?

RockitQueen said...

Noted and updated, my friend. Ah, nothing like the sight of Ville to make me forget the scabbed, jaundaced, rotted face of Doherty! As for the death pool, I'm going to venture a guess that he won't make it to 30 (perhaps he'll go at 27, the age all rockers die). But he might also be like a Keith Richards who just lives forever in a preserved state!