I had about ten things I wanted to write about and couldn't decide what to post, so I decided to just type up a little grab bag of news. Here you go...enjoy. I guess.
• The big news this week is the revelation that Jodie Sweetin, who played the precocious (read: fucking annoying as shit) middle daughter Stephanie Tanner on "Full House" was a crackhead for two years, while she was married to a cop no less, and is now clean and looking for work. Apparantly, an intervention was held by her "Full House" castmates, and I'm trying to imagine what THAT was like. I mean, what is an intervention featuring the Olsen twins, Bob Sagat and Dave Coulier like? I don't even know what to say about that, except I WANT TO KNOW MORE and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
• In other stupid news, Britney might be pregnant again. She's sick of Sean Preson already? Or else he wasn't enough to make Federline want to stay home? Either way, if there is any kind of otherworldly higher power, there will not be another baby produced from a Britney Spears/Kevin Federline coupling. Do you hear me, god(des)? There will NOT.
• It's funniest on "COPS" when someone is arrested without their shirt on.
• Because I'm sure the two people that read this blog are dying to know what Mayhem did to get banned from both Indonesia and Malaysia, I conducted extensive research to get answers to this burning question. Good news. You all can sleep tonight because I finally found an answer. In what is probably the most surprising thing you've heard in the last five seconds, the reason for the ban is "unacceptable values" and promotion of "satanic worship and drug use." Somebody known has "Wong Kam Hoong" has vowed to not let our favorite merry band of badasses anywhere near the city limits of Kuala Lumpur. So there you go.
• After that big let-down, you might be even more disappointed to find out that ex-Mayhem vocalist Maniac was the subject of one of the (other) Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time for this way-cute picture. Here's the hilarious assessment of the offending photo by Mike of Hobart from Ruthless Reviews: Maniac slides into #4 for two obvious reasons: (1) His new pseudo-mullet hairdo is anything but metal; he looks older than my fucking dad. (2) That Shredder-style, spiked armguard with a pig’s head impaled on it might be the lamest black metal prop ever. Did he do the entire show with that on his hand? Looks pretty cumbersome to me. Anyway, how about the necrobestialerotic faces he’s making? I like the way he kicks out his hip in the first pic, showing off for the cameraman who is surely beating his cock raw to all of this. I mean, is that supposed to be sexy? Or tough? Or unholy and grim and inverted? Also, nice pants asshole. Old Navy was having a sale?
Ha! If you can't get the link to work, Google it, 'cause there's plenty more good stuff where that came from.