In addition to providing endless entertainment, hard-hitting Brit/Federline reports, innumerable pointless lists and all the Mayhem news you can handle, Stupid & Contagious now furnishes yet another service: help for fat celebrities. Yes, that's right. It appears that Mr. Corey Haim, who I made fun of last week, is going to be a contestant on the next Celebrity Fit Club! This has not been officially confirmed yet, but if/when it is, I will choose to believe that Corey read my mean comments about him and decided to do something about his beluga-like appearance. Good for you, Corey! This is a promising start for our fave Lost Boy on the road to Comeback City. Let's just hope he's not this season's Jeff Conaway/Jani Lane/Daniel Baldwin with the painkiller addiction. In the meantime, I will take full credit for any weight-loss success Corey achieves. And any failures, well, that's his own fault.
Incidentally, Shar Jackson is also rumored to be on the show, which is even more intriguing. Imagine the heart-to-hearts with Dr. Linda about how stressful it is when Dad has the kids for the weekend and returns her daughter wearing a brand-new "Future MILF" T-shirt that Britty-Brit-Brit got her. Or how she binged the time when K-Fed taught the baby how to say, "I'm a muthafuckin baller." Or how she turns to food for comfort when she sees paparazzi pics of Britney leading the kids barefoot into a slimy public bathroom. It's hard for a single mom, especially when your kids were fathered by Pimp Daddy Federfucker.
No matter what, let's hope this news is true. It will be good for the blog.