I thought this post would be more exciting than it is

Trent over at Pink is the New Blog has the scoop of the week and if you haven't seen it already, well then click over there right this minute, missy. It's a photo timeline of Katie Holmes' "pregnant" belly—hilarious photographic evidence proving that even though a baby might appear in a few months, it sure didn't emerge from her womb. Who does she think she's fooling? There is totally some poor woman being held against her will in a $cientology compound somewhere until she gives birth. The baby will immediately be whisked away, her mind will be erased Men in Black-style and she'll come to somewhere in the desert 124 miles outside of Reno. I envision all kinds of pomp and ceremony in the presentation of the baby to Tom and Katie by the sea org members in their fake navy uniforms, with a wall-sized portrait of L. Ron looming over them all.

This seems like a great time to mention that $cientology is something else that sickly fascinates me. It's not so much all the cultish tendencies, the auditing, the weird ship-shaped building they have secret meetings in, the mind-melding, the crackpot "Xenu" theory, the e-meters, the "sea org", the psych- and med-bashing, the personality tests, the dianetics books and the general asshattery. It's that it's really just too easy to make fun ofĂ‚—it's almost as if it was made specifically for people to point and laugh at. Don't forget: the first letter in "$cientology" is not an S...it's a dollar sign! Get it? 'Cause they pay celebrities to align themselves with the madness, while the plebians shell out their lunch money to sweat and starve in some unmarked, windowless building in the middle of nowhere. All in the name of clearing away those pesky thetans.

I thought this was going to be more fun to write about, but I'm starting to get bored. I can tell when a post is crashing and burning. I'll leave you with this ponderance: why does the Geiko lizard have a British accent? Or is Australianan? Either way, it doesn't make any sense.

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