Ashley Parker Angel: Oh my frigging god

I am going to say with no shame whatsoever that MTV may have created the most deliciously vicious reality show ever: "There and Back: Ashley Parker Angel." If you haven't been privvy to this masterpiece, it follows former boy-bander APA as he tries to embark on a solo career/comeback. Sounds basic enough, until you add into the mix that he's completely broke, he's living with his pregnant girlfriend and her mother and appears to sleep in an attic. Don't tell me MTV isn't paying him until the end of this mess. If so...hilarious!

There is so much to love about this show. Ash keeps talking about being "creative" and "making music" and complains of his vocals being too "pitch" (which I think is the boy-band equivalent to "stock", for you "Some Kind of Monster" fans out there). He doesn't know how to grocery shop (and somehow manages to get his cart stuck in the automatic doors at the store), thinks it's his management team's fault that he can't get a hit, complains about how hard his life is to a PREGNANT CHICK and constantly hits up his girl's mom for money. To add to the merriment, Ashley "pops" out of scenes to commentate on what's going on. It's one of the strangest production devices ever and ratchets the cheese factor up at least another 15%.

The "There and Back" costars are just as fun. The preggers girlfriend hates boy bands, claims to be a model, which I need some evidence of, and actually seems to kind of hate Ashley. Ash's former boy-bandmate, a guy with the nattiest dreads ever, now owns a monkey, works construction and drives a crappy, rusted van. The guys that Ashley pretends to write songs with are constantly blowing smoke up his ass, with such empty bon mots as "That sounds so cool!", "Awesome!" and "I love that, dude!"

Anyway, I'd like to thank MTV for offering this outstanding addition to their lineup—it salves the pain of having "The Gauntlet" on first in the Monday night 10-Spot®. Yeah, I got sucked into the marathon...so sue me. By the way, has anyone ever really bought that "Baby Got Back-pick-up-the-phone" ringtone or that annoying dancing chicken avatar?

1 comment:

macattack said...

I'm totally with you on this one. I love/hate that show. "He's well endowed, just like his daddy!" Talk about needing evidence. I feel that all prospective reality tv show "stars" should post dic pics of themselves on their internet sites. Because they make money for doing nothing. He does have a cute ass. Even if he does pop out, zack morris style. BTW ive added you to my links.Keep up the good "work."