A "Jackass Number 2" review in haiku

Fade in; foggy street
the boys emerge followed by
really pissed off bulls

Then mayhem ensues
in a variety of
funny/gory forms

Dick brand on Bam's ass
Dunn's balls stuck to an ice block
Naked Wee Man, too

Anacondas in
a kids' ball pit..."they
tried to kill Ice Cube!"

Fishhook through the mouth
Leech on the eyeball and more
What won't Steve-O do?

What happens when you
put a rocket launcher on
a shopping cart...hmmm...

Old people body parts
created out of rubber
then dangled freely

Grandpa gets kid drunk,
lights him a cigarette and
tells stoner: "Piss off!"

Satan flies out of
a sewer; screams "Keep god out
of California!"

A horse is milked and
I very nearly puked but then I
thought, "Fuck Art, Let's Dance"

All in all, truly brill
and worth it just for the big
dance number finale

My biggest fear was
a cameo from J-Simp.
No such "luck", thank god

They will never beat
the toy car up the ass stunt
from the first Jackass

It's still "a joyful
celebration of the depths
of degredation"


Anonymous said...

Does this mean you saw Jackass Number 2???????? Good god.

RockitQueen said...

T-Dawg, is that you?? For the love of god, identify yourself!!

Lola said...

Sistah-there is NO WAY I can see this movie. Drinking horse sperm? I'm barfing as I write.
Was Ville in it?

RockitQueen said...

Ville was in it for, like, 2 seconds.

Shaving his pubes. To make a pube beard.

Lola said...

Shaving his pubes? Did they show....it?