The 13 scariest movie scenes ever

So as I was getting ready to post this, I discovered this kick-ass list of the 100 scariest movie scenes on RetroCRUSH. It's awesome and all, but it totally looks like I copied!! I swear I didn't! Anyway, here is my list and I hope it doesn't bring back any bad memories. Let me know what movie scenes made you want to pee your pants (and then proceed post-haste to RetroCRUSH for more cool Halloween stuff, including hilarious pics of the worst costumes of all time—come on, you know you want to be Small Wonder)!

Oh, and don't forget to check out my picks at RockitQueen Gold or the flying monkeys will get you! Seriously, you don't want those things pawing at your window while you're trying to sleep.

13. "Rosemary's Baby": "What have you done to his eyes??"
But, Rosemary, your baby has his father's eyes! Because his father is the Prince of Fucking Darkness, not John Cassavetes! And your sweet little neighbor Ruth Gordon is a satanist! And if you can't beat them, you must join them. Shudder...

12. "Hostel": "Be careful—you could spend ALL your money in there!"
OK, I'm going to say it fast: basically, Jay Rodriguez's character escapes from this "killing factory" where people can pay money to torture and kill kidnapped backpackers and a guy that is getting ready to "partake" says this. Good god, I can't even think about it. Of all the shit that went down in this twisted movie, THIS is the moment that bothered me the most.

11. "The Wizard of Oz": Closeup of the Wicked Witch
Dorothy is trapped in the witch's castle and begins wishing for home. Suddenly, sweet little Auntie Em appears in the witch's crystal ball calling out to Dorothy. Next thing you know, the hideous green pointy face of the witch appears and the camera zooms in disturbingly close to her horrible, cackling mug! Everyone in the audience then ceremoniously craps their pants.

10. "The Ring"/"Ringu": Well girl walks through the TV
I've been told I'm a total loser for thinking this was scary. Maybe I am, I don't know. But when the well girl climbed out of the TV and crawled toward that guy I literally backed away from the screen. Well, what if she had climbed through MY TV screen?? And then I watched the original version and, even though I knew what was going to happen, I did the exact same thing.

9. "The Omen": Damien's mom's a dog
Gregory Peck and David Warner need to find the truth about that little freakshow Damien's background, and they track down the grave of his real mother and dig it up. Of course, the cemetery is old and decrepid and there are a whole bunch of rottweilers hanging around foaming at the mouth. What do they find when they finally pry open the crypt? A DOG SKELETON! Imagine the "Psycho" knife-stab music, and you've pretty much got it.

8. Some B-movie that scared me when I was a kid
Yeah, yeah, I'm a total wuss, and this proves it. I once saw this film on one of those Sunday matinee, crappy B-movie shows and I don't remember the name of it, but I will never forget two scenes that scared the shit out of me. The female lead was being harrassed/stalked by some unknown assailant and at one point he locked her in a sauna, which I found highly disturbing, and then he PUSHED A TAILOR'S DUMMY ON HER WHILE SHE WAS SLEEPING, which made me nearly pass out because I hate, hate, hate headless mannequins. Shut up.

7. "Deliverance": Squeal like a piggy
Need I say more?

6. "The Silence of the Lambs": Clarice in Buffalo Bill's basement
It's all fun and games until the rookie FBI agent descends into the underground lair of a ghoulish serial killer to put a stop to his crime spree and save his latest victim. It's a seriously, seriously tense and disturbing movie moment that makes you feel as if you yourself are entering Buffalo Bill's world.

5. "The Changeling": That frigging mini wheelchair!!
If you haven't seen this one, it's actually a very good '70s-era ghost tale, starring George C. Scott with some excellent scares, the worst of which is this terrible wooden child's wheelchair that just happens to show up here and there and sometimes randomly hurtles itself down the stairs at George.

4. "Se7en": Sloth/Lust
After I saw this movie, I couldn't sleep for a week, as I alternately kept thinking of the "knife suit" that served as the completely fucked-up "Lust" killing and the living "Sloth" victim rocketing up into Morgan Freeman's face and coughing. Yeesh.

3. "The Blair Witch Project": The house with the handprints
Yep, I was one of the people that was laying on the floor of the movie theater during this one because I was so scared. The worst part was at the very end when the two remaining filmmakers ran into the abandoned house (why do they always go in??) and as they are dashing up the stairs, you see what appear to be bloody handprints all along the walls. And thank god that was the end because I was about to hightail it out of the theater at that point anyway.

2. "Dumbo": Drunken elephant dream
Jesus Christ, I still can't think about this without getting creeped out. Who put this fucked-up shit in a so-called children's movie? First of all, Dumbo GETS DRUNK, which is messed up to begin with, and then starts hallucinating about these blank-eyed pink elephants. They get big and then small! They turn plaid! Their trunks turn into trumpets! They march and loom! The mere thought of it still makes my skin crawl. By the way, way to go, Disney, on that one. I wonder how many kids turned to a life of drug and alcohol abuse after viewing that scene. Just say no, kids! (Aside: I can't believe RetroCRUSH also picked this for their list, because I seriously thought I was the only person whose childhood was warped by this scene. I'm glad I'm not the only one, but I'm also a little bummed that someone else thought of it first. Hmph.)

1. "The Exorcist": The spider walk
This scene was cut from the original movie because it so bothered the test audiences, but was added back in to the re-released version a few years ago. Ellen Burstyn's character thinks her daughter might possibly be possessed but no one believes her—until her daughter does a backbend and creeps down the stairs on her fingertips! It's so unbelievably chilling, you'll want to curl up in the fetal position and suck your thumb (not that I did that or anything...). Wait until you hear this: according to iMDb it's REAL. Yes, that's right: a contortionist was brought in, dressed as Linda Blair and then literally executed this totally unnatural and fucked-up maneuver. My god, I'm getting scared just writing about it!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

At Easton, I saw a poster for Saw, which I've never seen but want to. So maybe it will be playing in theaters for Halloween?

If so, wanna go?

--Antonio Pittman