Did you miss me? Oh, get outta here, you did not!
Yes, I've been slacking and, the truth is, I've been a little uninspired lately, plus I'm waaaaay behind on bringing you the latest hard-hitting "Supergroup" reports that will someday make me famous. This weekend has raised too many questions for me to concentrate on just one area, so I'm going to have to postpone any up-to-the-minute Sebastian Bach quotes to address other, more pressing, queries and observations.
And I'm totally NOT going to comment on the "revealing" Britney interview that aired the other night. It's too easy, and frankly, I'm getting sick of writing about her. For now.
Far more important is that VH1 once again rocks the weekend with a celebration of all things '80s, which included an airing of "The Breakfast Club." Of note:
• That joke that Bender tells as he's crawling through the vent...what was the frigging punchline?? Well, I just found out—there isn't one! So anticlimactic.
• The whole Ally Sheedy-Emilio Esteves post-makeover hookup was always a little suspect to me. The wrestling jock fell in love with the sad little goth girl because she pulled her hair back and put on a little shadow? Yeah, right.
• The famous "Eat my shorts" line was redubbed "Eat my socks." And thank god. Eating socks is so much grosser than eating shorts, and it's way more offensive. Bender always could stick it to the man.
• It's still a pretty good teen movie, but it's no "Whatever It Takes", I can tell you that.
E! also chalked up a winner with a "Child Star Confidential" marathon. Ah, eat your dreams, you precocious little scamps. Because there's nothing the cruel, cruel world likes more than the taste of really sweet dreams.
• Danielle Harris, who played the pesky little brat dressed as a clown in "Halloween 4", reveals that she was stalked by an obsessed fan who sent her perverted letters and thought they were getting married. She's then interviewed while participating in some kind of cardio-strip class where she's humping the floor and gyrating around on a stripper pole. What a tease!
• Who knew the kid from "Child's Play" would grow up to be so hunky? And that was such an awesome movie, wasn't it? Evil criminal transfers his soul into a creepy My Buddy-like doll and the doll goes on to kill, kill, kill! Whoever came up with that idea deserves a gold star.
• Natasha Lyonne is such a major crackhead. She had a collapsed lung, a heart infection and Hep C! Holy shit. These shows are so informative.
• Somebody named "T.J. Fantini", who was on the Mickey Mouse Club with Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera and that person whose name I will not mention, thinks he's missing some kind of pop star boat because of his "connections" and is convinced that the world is pining for more ex-Mousketeer-turned-singers. I don't know who this guy is, but his constant name dropping, overly confident posturing and "look out, world, I'm back!" absurdity made me want to personally start a crusade to prevent him from ever appearing in public again. Did anyone really watch that revival of the Mickey Mouse Club? I think it was only on for two years, and yet you hear people talking about it as if it was some kind of historical Saturday Night Live-ish launchpad for young talent. Whatever. I simply don't care for it.
Anyway, who cares about all this? That actually seems to be a running theme throughout this entire blog, doesn't it? Oh, well. Rock n' roll. I'll still be getting you those "Supergroup" updates ASAP.