06-06-06: Watch out for Old Scratch!

So what are you hellions up to today? Whatever it is, better keep one eye over your shoulder because only Satan himself knows what might happen. Perhaps the world will blow up or mass chaos will ensue. Or Britney and Federline will release a surprise duet remake of Cocker/Warnes' "Up Where We Belong." This nut claims to have solved some kind of DaVinci-like code that says the world is ending and the devil's taking over, which might be a little more convincing if his name wasn't "Harry Radio Book".

Whatevs. At the very least, we have the release of the horrible-looking remake of "The Omen", which debuts today. Don't go see it; I saw the preview and it looks really bad. They got some ugly overacting brat with a bowl haircut to play Damien. There's no way this unattractive moppet can deliver as creepy a performance as little Harvey Stephens in the original 30 years ago. Ever wonder what happened to that kid? According to IMDb he is now a "futures trader on the London stock market" and a "property developer in Kent"—well, which is it, IMDb? He also has a cameo as a reporter in the new version of the movie. Who knew Damien would go on to be such a Renaissance man? I guess when you are the antichrist you can do whatever the fuck you want.

Anyway, back on topic. Your official soundtrack for the day is Deicide's new EP "The Stench of Redemption", which also darkens our doorstep today. I stand behind my theory that this record was actually completed 2 years ago, but lead singer and sporter of the super-cool inverted-cross forehead burn scar Glen Benton forced the rest of the band to sit on it so they could release it on 6-6-6. By the way, deicide.com, their "official" website is their MySpace page! Whoo, look out! These guys are hardcore and don't you forget it. You certainly wouldn't know it from the fucking goofy face Glen Benton is making in the front- page picture. If he wants to scare people, he should practice his evil faces in the mirror—right now he looks like Yosemite Sam as pictured on those "Back Off" mudflaps. But with an upside-down cross burned into his forehead. The site goes on to boast: "With a relentlessly brutal sound and uncompromisingly blasphemous lyrics, Deicide helped set the standards for Death Metal well over a decade ago and have maintained those standards ever since." On their MySpace website that also serves as their official page. Killer. Sorry, Deicide, but Harvey Stephens is scarier.

Most importantly is that today is the National Day of Slayer, and we are encouraged to "listen to Slayer at full blast in any public place you prefer. DO NOT use headphones! The objective of this day is for everyone within earshot to understand that it is the National Day of Slayer. National holidays in America aren't just about celebrating; they're about forcing it upon non-participants." Sweet. I'm in full support of forcing evil celebrations on people. If they can successfully rouse Slayer fans from their meth- and pot-addled hazes, we could have full-scale anarchy on our hands.

Happy birthday to: Carl Barat of The Libertines and Dirty Pretty Things, Uncle Kracker, Munky from Korn, Paul Giametti, Sean Yseult of White Zombie, Phil Lews from L.A. Guns, Steve Vai, Colin Quinn, Sandra Bernhard and Harvey Fierstein. Too bad it's not the Count's birthday. Or that Shiloh Jolie-Pitt hadn't emerged today. That would have rocked.

Anyway, enjoy, you heathens. I'm going to go listen to some Priest albums backwards.

1 comment:

Lola said...

Dude..it's Dom's birthday...and his fave band is Slayer!
That CANNOT be a coinkidinkie!
He said you and Karen were really cool and cute, and that the guy with you was a bit geeky.
Is this a correct assumption?