Here's to the Panty Police!

I think I've seen every episode of Law & Order: SVU at least five times, mainly thanks to USA's ad nauseum nightly repeats and frequent holiday marathons. I've had a love/hate relationship with the show lately because I started getting sick of it and the new episodes are really scraping it for freaky crimes (Santaria again?). Also, when did Benson get a brother?

A slight case of the sniffles and sheer boredom has inspired me to start watching again, and in an effort to spice up my relationship with SVU, create this very special L&O: SVU drinking game! Remember those? If you don't (geek), here's what you do: simply settle down in front of the telly when the show comes on (doesn't matter which episode) with your favorite adult beverage and sip, drink or chug appropriately each time one of the items on the list occurs on the show. If all goes as planned, you should be ass over elbows in 60 minutes flat! If you're sick like me, replace liquor with NyQuil—trust me, it's just as effective. I created this list from my own ideas, as well as some found online. Have any to add? Comment away! In the meantime, if you crash on the way home, don't blame the bartender.

Sip once every time:
• the “ching ching” noise is played.
• someone says “Do you have children, Detective?”
• Olivia says “Sonofabitch!”
• Miranda rights are read.
• one of the detectives hangs up the phone and says, “That was Warner. She’s got something for us in the crime lab.”
• Cragen yells, “Benson/Stabler, in my office...NOW!”
• Cragen says, “Where are we on this case?”
• one of the detectives gets too close to the case.
• someone says, “Is that enough for a warrant?”
• Munch wears his trilby.
• Stabler threatens a suspect.
• cops from another squad put down SVU, calling them “panty police”, “sex cops”, etc.
• Olivia has to break a date to work on the case. (1 drink if she shows up on the scene in an evening gown.)
• a witness at a crime scene says, “Can I go now?”
• Stabler worries about his kids’ safety.
• Stabler squints.
• someone refers to a suspect "lawyering up."
• Elizabeth Donnelly (Judith Light) acts bitchy.
• Munch refers to one of his ex-wives.
• Finn says, “That’s messed up.”
• someone tells a detective to “go do your job.”
• someone screams, "You're out of line!"
• the detectives go undercover.
• Huang suggests interrogation techniques.
• one of the guest stars was also onOz.

Take 1 drink every time:
• someone actually says, “You’re getting too close to the case.”
• the crime takes place at Hudson University. (1 drink if Stabler says, “Maureen goes to Hudson!”)
• Novak/Cabot says, “I can’t just send you out on a fishing expedition.”
• Stabler kicks in a door.
• Stabler’s USMC tattoo is visible.
• one of the detectives is found in contempt of court.
• Elizabeth Donnelly personally blames Novak/Cabot for the loss of a case.
• DNA is obtained from a coffee cup or soda can left in the interrogation room.
• someone asks, “Who could have DONE this?” and Olivia replies, “That’s what we’re trying to find out.”
• the detectives make smartass remarks to a suspect as they arrest him/her.
• Munch talks about conspiracy theories.
• Finn wears his hair down.
• one of the main characters is seriously injured or shot.
• a witness is killed or commits suicide.
• there is a courtroom outburst.
• missing body parts are discovered.
• there is a mob hit.
• a guest star who typicially plays nice characters plays someone sadistic (i.e. Henry Winkler as a black widower, Fred Savage as a serial rapist).
• a guest star who has been on the show before appears again as a totally different character.
• Olivia investigates without backup.
• the detectives are shown in their “NYPD” jackets.
• the detectives' cover is blown.
• Huang actually does the interrogation himself.
• Novak is shown doing something athletic.
• Munch flirts with ME Warner.
• the case is obviously “ripped from the headlines.”

Chug if:
• a sexual perversion you’ve never heard of is mentioned.
• Munch kicks in a door.
• Ice-T's wife Coco makes a guest appearance.
• it's the Michael Pitt episode.

1 comment:

Lola said...

I've only seen one or two of these shows...am I evil? And our boyfriends Chris Meloni is in it!