The death of Camelot

Readers, I'm afraid that I have bad news to report to you today. I am choking back tears even as I write this. After nine movies together, a reality TV show and years and years of drug-fuelled blackouts and meth binges, I regret to report that Corey Haim and Corey Feldman have called it quits on their legendary friendship. Feld-dog revealed this horrific news in a shocking interview to Us Magazine:

Us: How are things with the other Corey?
Feldman: We are not in great shape these days. We had a bit of a falling out.

Us: So you are not talking?
Feldman: No, we are not at all. He made some big mistakes and I am not sure why he made them. I am bit confused by it all. He has issues; big issues.

Us: How long has it been since you've not spoken to each other?
Feldman: Probably about two months now. He has to get his life together. He has some serious issues he must deal with. That's all I will say. He has to get it together very soon.

I expect this is all due to Haim's recent voluntary departure from the Lost Boys sequel. That's right: he left of his own accord after he talked non-stop about it on that stupid reality show, even sharing his own ridiculous plot ideas and then bawling when Feldman told him he wasn't asked to be a part of the movie. Either that or he decided to watch his Me, Myself & I video for the first time with a clear head.

In other depressing news, I just saw a commercial hawking the upcoming album from "the legendary Miss Britney Spears." Ugh. Where the fuck are my tranqs?

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