Bloodbath on isle 12

There are intense crowds on the day after Thanksgiving—led by the "doorbusters" who show up at dawn for early-bird sales.

If you weren't too stunned by my announcement of The Pixy's engagement, you will probably remember that I referenced "the Doorbusters" and how much I hate them at the end of my post. A few people have asked me what the fuck "doorbusters" are. Linus, why don't you tell Charlie Brown what a Doorbusters Christmas is all about?

Lights please...

And there were in the same life-free jerkoffs abiding in the Wal-Mart parking lot, keeping watch over their watchess by night. And lo, the manager of the store came upon them, and the glory of the $899 plasma screen shone round about them, and they began to push.

And the manager said unto them, "Back up, the store opens at FOUR—NOT 3:56! Stop pushing! Christ the Lord, glory to God in the highest, you people are animals! Sir, please stop peeing in the decorative planters! Help, help, I'm being trampled! You're standing on my face! Help, help...nooooooooooooo!!"

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